The dreaded "before" pictures!

Okay so I will probably eventually take these down but I owe it to myself (for motivation purposes) to put these up. I am calling these my "before" pictures, even though they are actually my current pictures.  Here you go!

  

Methods I have tried so far...

In my weight loss efforts this past year, I have tried:

*Cleanses/Detoxes
*Slimquik
*Hydroxycut
*Dirurex
*Lipozene
*Liposuction (on upper arms)
*Hoodia
*Slim Fast
*Zone Diet bars

I also have also eaten more salads and vegetables (I hate fruit) but at the same time when you pair those foods with dressings and such it probably cancels out the healthy intentions. I lift weights (5lb hand weights) and do sit ups with my ab roller on a daily basis. I have added squats and other various aerobic moves to my regimen over the past few weeks and part of me wonders (or hopes) that my weight gain is from muscle but there's no way to be sure when the muscle is under so much flab!

I have finally decided to get SERIOUS!

It has been 13 months (and four days) since my son was born (almost to the minute!) and I am only 7 pounds less than I weighed the night I had him! Some people say that mothers who deliver via C-section have a harder time getting the weight off and I am starting to think that may be true. I was 95 pounds when I found out I was pregnant (I am short so that is not as far fetched as it sounds) and am 35 pounds heavier as we speak. My weight has been bothering me since my son was born but now that I seem to be gaining despite my efforts to lose, I have finally decided to blog my weight loss journey as motivation.

When I saw the scale hit 130 yesterday, I knew it was time to get serious! I have been keeping a pretty detailed food diary for over a month now and have continued to see the calories add up but still give in to my extremely strong food cravings. I think there are environmental factors at the moment that are sabotaging my efforts but I also need to take some responsibility. I make excuses for not exercising (too tired, too hot outside, the gym is too far, and etcetera...) and yet eat like there is no tomorrow. I want to eat around 1000-1200 HEALTHY calories per day but right now I am averaging 1800-2500! One day last month (the day I decided it was time to start keeping a food diary) I had eaten 3300 calories... that is 200 calories shy of an entire pounds worth of food! I have been better since then but better is not cutting it, I need to get serious! 

I wake up every day with the best of intentions to eat healthy and keep the calories down but find myself too weak to resist yummy foods. I can justify eating anything if I want it bad enough. I truly believe I have some sort of food addiction because it controls my life. It is a constant internal battle trying to justify why I should or should not eat something and the food usually wins. It's an awful cycle that I am ready to break.... wake up, resist indulging, give in and eat too much, feel disappointed the rest of the day, go to sleep and then wake up and do it all over again (all while watching the scale go up!) I have no will power and am trying to figure out what it is going to take to get back in control over food.  I am hoping seeing 130 on the scale is enough but if I know myself and my love for food it is going to be much easier said than done. 

Just to put it in perspective, I wore a size 0/1 up until 3 months pregnant and now I wear anywhere from a 5/7 to a 9/11 depending on the brand (and even then I have an awful muffin top!) It is uncomfortable to me to be this heavy and am tired of daydreaming about being in shape. I AM READY TO LOSE THIS WEIGHT!

My intentions for this blog are to keep myself accountable as I document my weight loss progress. I am going to put up comparison pictures along the way (as much as I am dreading that) so that we can visually see the progress. And I promise no more of my posts will be this long! Thank you for making it this far!